A Field Guide to People Who Say 'Actually' at Breweries
Identifying and surviving the most dangerous predator in craft beer.
You know the type. You're standing at the bar, peacefully enjoying a perfectly fine lager, when someone materializes beside you like a ghost made of beard oil and opinions.
Species 1: The Hop Scholar. 'Actually, this isn't a West Coast IPA, it's more of a Pacific Northwest Interpretive Pale Ale.' They can name 47 hop varieties but not their own children.
Species 2: The Temperature Truther. 'Actually, you should let that warm up to exactly 48.7 degrees.' They brought their own thermometer. It has a name.
Species 3: The Glassware Guru. 'Actually, a tulip glass would unlock the aromatics.' Sir, I'm drinking from a plastic cup at a music festival. Please leave me alone.
Survival tips: Maintain eye contact. Nod slowly. Say 'oh wow, I had no idea' in a flat tone. They'll either feel validated and leave, or adopt you as their protégé. Either way, you're going to need another beer.