My Couchbase Cluster Has Better Uptime Than My Relationships
99.999% availability. If only dating apps had the same SLA.
My Couchbase cluster has been running for 247 days without a single outage. In that same period, I have cancelled 3 dates, ghosted 2 people, and told someone I was busy when I was actually just watching my replication metrics.
The cluster auto-fails over in under 30 seconds. My last relationship took 6 months to fail over, and even then neither of us was sure who was the active node and who was the replica.
Couchbase scales horizontally by just adding nodes. I tried to scale my social life horizontally by joining a running club. I pulled a hamstring and spent the next week monitoring my cluster from the couch. The cluster didn't judge me. The cluster understood.
The best part about Couchbase is the eventual consistency model. I told my therapist about it. She said that explains a lot about my communication style. Apparently replying to texts 'when the buffer flushes' is not a healthy attachment pattern.
My cluster has rack-zone awareness. It knows exactly where every node is at all times. I once lost my phone for three days. It was in the fridge. The cluster would never end up in the fridge.
In conclusion: Couchbase has taught me that the real distributed system was the friends we made along the way. Just kidding. It was the data. It was always the data. The data never leaves. The data is always consistent. Eventually.